agony, he knew that he did not have long to live, but he endured. Unable to fall asleep at night, he tried to escape from pain and heavy thoughts at the card table and alcohol …but it didn’t help much… His only desire was to die as befits a warrior by the sword, and not by illness in his bed

… "Unclean" half-breeds believe that only in this way can a warrior join the rest of the warriors in the next world …

But he was not lucky, because of the epidemic, all hostilities faded away. And he counted every day and only prayed to the Gods that they would enable him to die as a warrior and die by the sword! Now he didn’t go to bed at all, didn’t go to the bed at all, barely standing on his feet, put out his last strength, and was still waiting for deliverance, and prayed to the Gods …

I told this to Arel, and he suddenly looked up, and I saw in his eyes some glimmers of interest!

“And the deliverance has come!” he said suddenly.

“Yes! How do you know this!” I was immensely surprised.

“His God came down from heaven and struck him with a sword as a warrior,” said Arel …

I stood stunned:

“You … did you hear that story too?” – I asked, and he laughed, laughed badly, I always get scared when he laughs like that …

“I made it,” he said.

And I saw his eyes … Terrible eyes … Totally insane. I could not look into them, could not bear this look … He looks at you and as if through you. As if you are not, or you are transparent. His mother had the same look, and I wanted to leave as soon as possible … In the end, Arel has long been no matter what happens around …

“He took me through again, however … as always,” Arel said, probably to himself, because I did not understand his words … – Wil! – He called me.

And when I approached him again, he said:

“Wil, when I die, take the portrait of my mother off the wall, you know

… in my room … in the bedroom.” Take it off and open the cache, it is not locked … for a long time. There is a box … Take the letter, it will lie at the top … I put it on top of all the other documents and it is written in large letters Vil Luven … Do you understand what I'm saying?

“I understand, don't chew everything on me like that,” I said. – But why all this? What do you mean, you will not be? What kind of stupid thoughts do you have? “Shut up!” he said it harshly, in his command style, and for a moment it was the same Arel, and I belted up …

“Listen to me! Listen carefully! Take care of people, take care! People, the mass that everyone needs, while you do it, you will be useful.

Because someone who would do this work is needed. This is your chance to stay. Stay helpful!”

And it said Arel! Who has always been spat on people! I did not believe my ears! He told me to take good care of people! What happens to him? I would have been glad if he had said that before … But now … Now, it frightened me even more than his insane look!

Where? Where is the brilliant combination of mind, strength and feeling? Where is the power that terrified anyone who saw him … Who heard his voice … Who watched how simple he was holding, while still remaining inaccessible … Where is everything that I loved so much and why did I forgive everything?! Nothing left! He seemed sucked.

Apparently, all the troubles, which in many ways he himself brought down on his head, nevertheless did their dirty deed, and emptied him, broke it … It hurts me to look at it!

What should I do?

“In any case, I will not abandon people,” I said. «Whatever happens, I will try to take care of them …”

And Arel smiled (now it is so rare).

“Then I am calm for you,” he said, and without saying a word, he got up and left …

And I was scared … It is terrible for him, for the others … They may not be very good people, but they suffer from it. Suffer, I know for sure. I see! But before he was different! Arel was funny, I remember … He was pretty witty joking; and he was always flap about … He laughed at the jokes of others. And I so wanted to be with them! To be with them, sit with them at one table and laugh, not paying any attention to the rest. It seemed to me then that they are so friendly, they love each other so much … Real like-minded people! It seemed to me that they certainly never feel lonely, because they are together! I remember one night when they arrived at “Backara” … They sat down at their desk … Not far from the entrance … And I was sitting by the opposite wall and I saw them, although the tables in “Backara” were separated from each other by walls. I sat and looked at them, but they didn’t do anything special …

They just drank and talked … I didn’t hear what about, it was too noisy in the hall …Drunken visitors rattled around, music was playing… And I was sitting far away… Arel and others did not pay attention to anyone, communicating in their close circle. And I wanted so much to be noticed by them, I wanted them to pay attention to me …

I wanted it so much! I understood … Somewhere deep in my heart I understood … That this will not happen … That they are not interested in me… Absolutely… But I was driving these thoughts away … Eagerly staring into them… They were together … And I was alone! And I was a little sad about this …Although I'm used to the loneliness … And yet, when I looked at them, I was sad … I wanted to know what they were talking about …