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– But medicine can’t explain that, this is what I am talking about.
– That means that it exists somewhere else. Do not worry; psychology and psychiatry have no power over the strength of emotions that were growing over years.
Evgeni Dmitrievich tried to understand everything he had acknowledged from the woman’s words. How can she see the unknown so deeply? It is the first time she sees Sveta, who is unconscious! Judging from her words, she understands everything about medicine… This is very strange!
Door of the ward opened and young nurse with the frightened face looked into the ward and said:
– Evgeni Dmitrievich, there is an emergency surgery coming up, operating room number seven. Lidia Petrovna is being discharged from the hospital today. Surgeon took a look at Lidia Petrovna as if was letting her know: «We haven’t finished the conversation yet but won’t see each other again. Fair well…» When he touched the door handle he heard:
– Don’t worry about her, in a year she will be pregnant and the delivery will go good. You did more then you could, she should thank you for that. I wish you good luck and happiness…
When the door was closing, Svetlana shook a couple of times and moaned. She saw a car accident in front of her eyes, every moment that took place before the crash pressed on her again with a new effort and she could not cope with her powerless condition. She felt her palsy and didn’t know what to think about. Thoughts were mixed together and what she had heard was perceived as noise which disturbed her thinking process. What had happen created a lot of pressure and she still did not gain consciousness. Totally weak, Svetlana concentrated her will and sat at the bed, not opening her eyes and scaring the whole ward. She sat like that for a few minutes, then fell back on the pillow and could not feel anything. She felt herself high above the ground again. Feeling of freedom and lightness had left and she, looking at the earth from above, clearly saw herself as a small insignificant particle. It became uncomfortable that she always solved her own problems, not noticing other ones. This circumstance became burdensome and a thought came to mind: «I need to change drastically! For so many years I thought about a baby and could not notice anything else around! As a result to loose an opportunity to ever have another child»! Sveta didn’t think about how difficult it would be to live. The dream had left by itself, to nowhere, as if never existed! She lived in her own world for many years – in the world of that dream?! How to come back? The soap bubble, in which she was flying, blew! When the eyes open how to take a look at the world?! Svetlana started to fell down quickly again but this time she didn’t experience fear and thought: «If I start to live in a different way and be more caring, only then I shall receive what I want! I need to give people what they aspire, then I would get their kindness back…»
After Svetlana opened her eyes she saw her ward in the moonlight and patients getting a good quality sleep. She wasn’t surprised to see that everything was white: walls, sheets, her own clothing. She did not want to stand up but it was necessary, so she sat at the bed slowly, feeling a strong head ache and cramps in the stomach. Head was spinning but not too much. She wanted to eat and to drink but it was enormously difficult to stand up. Sveta squeezed teeth and slowly moved one foot down, waited for some time, got herself together and moved down another one. Head started to spin more and her first intention was to lie down, but instead of that she gathered all her strength and stood up abruptly. She was shaking and felt a strong nausea and she could not understand how she made it to the door. Only when the light in the hall made her close eyes, Svetlana got herself together, felt a strong weakness in feet and rushed to sit at the chair which stood near the ward.
– How are you feeling? – concerned nurse ran to her.
– Where is the bathroom? Could you show me?
Sveta stood up and shook vigorously, so the nurse – a tall, attractive lady dressed in white robe- slowly walked her down the hall, giving support and saying quietly:
– You need to eat a little and remain in bed to get better faster.
– What happen to me? – asked Sveta at the exit, holding to the nurse.
– Nothing serious – your spleen was ruptured. It is just that you became very weak, so you need to lie in bed…
Svetlana was swallowing fish soup, in which she could see fish bones, with an effort. Warm compote with a piece of black bread could not heat her up, and she, as she thought, drained, felt confidently. Inner strengths, coming out of the depths of senses, provided support. She saw herself in the different world which was nothing like her past life. One thing was especially amazing: before the accident so many things bothered her, and all at once she was free from it all! Everything disappeared! Even feelings, opinions had changed so after some thinking Svetlana said:
– Unbelievable, feels like I am alive again!
– What do you mean? – asked the nurse and covered Sveta with blanket. She did not answer and asked absolutely calmly:
– Can I speak with the surgeon who was operating me?
– Yes, his name is Eugeni Dmitrievich; he is a head of the ward. Tomorrow during the rotations he will surely visit you.
When the light in the ward was turned off, Sveta did not close eyes for a long time. She was not thinking of anything, it was just interesting for her to watch people sleep, to look in the window and watch the stars. She didn’t notice the beauty of this world before, living somewhere deep inside herself. «That means that I was depressed from that, – Sveta thought. – Unbelievable that I could not see all that. Probably I was not paying attention». She sensed that now thoughts have no control over her, nothing irritates her or provokes any feelings. Not so long ago thoughts were pressing her, made her loose control. In many occasions she could not be responsible under that burden, committing various absurdities- those wrong steps which all together had lead to the complicated circumstances.
Sveta closed her eyes and tried to deliberate as before, however instead of that she said to herself: «How silly it is even to think of that. Everything scary left, it is all new now. I need to get accused to that and to the…» Then her speech came to the end: sweet dreams took her away; she could not resist them and fell asleep right away.
IV
– Sit down! Why are you still standing up?!
Doctor pushed Max rather forcefully to the chair standing behind. Head started to spin more. Doctor was saying something else and taking notes, while Max replied and thought: «Probably the x-ray is bad, turns out I was not supposed to stand up and I kept walking for almost two days…» It was unbearable to be in the hospital and the head was spinning like the globe. Everything inside tortured with exacting pain, it was painful even to sit; weakness overpowered and he could not even stand up. Then Maxim leaned head to the wall and sat like that in the dormant condition, unexplainable to him.