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A play for 3 people. Comedy. An appointment with a kayfologist
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Lakutin Nikolay

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Emily. Okay, I'll wait.

Leon is leaving. Emily quickly takes a mirror and everything necessary for an emergency marathon out of her bag. She "powders her nose", cleans everything, straightens her hair, waits with an anticipated light smile.

Leon returns with two plates, each with a small cake and spoons. He puts it on the table.

Leon. Do you prefer tea or coffee?

Emily. Yes, I have more here, just enough. I don't need anything else, thank you.

Leon (sits down next to him). Well, then I'll just go dry. I don't want to leave you for a second anymore.

They smile and exchange glances. They help themselves.

Emily. I'm sorry, I don't want to pry into my business, but have you been talking to a psychologist right now?

Leon. It's all right, you can meddle in my business as if it were your own, you're allowed to. Yes, with a psychologist… torn. The work is nervous, I take it out on everyone. So, I decided to contact a specialist so that I could prescribe some drops of sedatives, suggest some tricks to reduce stress.

Emily. So what?

Leon (nervously). What is it? Nothing! (He slows down). Excuse me. You see what's going on, you can't control yourself at all. I've fed so much negativity that God forbid. My nerves went to hell.

Emily. Yes, there is something, but this world does not take up negativity. And work is rarely a joy. More often than not, we work not where we want, but where we get paid at least something.

Leon. You're damn right, Emily! Frankly speaking, I dreamed of being a gardener.

Emily. A gardener?

Leon. Don't be surprised, yes. Not everyone dreams of becoming astronauts, heroes, or drummers of some kind since childhood. Since childhood, I have loved flowers and other beautiful plants. When the boys in the yard were chasing a ball and playing war games, I spent almost all my time in a flower bed near the entrance. Loosened the soil, removed weeds, watered during the dry period. Usually children are not trusted with such events, it's still a responsibility.

Emily. Oh, by the way. There was also a flowerbed at my entrance, Tonya was in charge of it, so try it there, step on or drop something on her patrimony, you'll immediately grab it on all fronts.

Leon. Grandfather Nikifor was in charge of our flower bed. There was a world grandfather. He quickly saw in me a craving for plants and willingly began to bring me up to date. I knew which flower we had, what it liked, where, what needed to be carefully and painstakingly cared for, what to fertilize. Of course, I also played with the guys, but I lived in this flower garden with my grandfather Nikifor much more often. It was then that I realized that this was my vocation! To keep beauty and order, to take care, to look after, to preserve beauty and clean fresh air for the world! I dreamed of a big garden in which I would live and work with pleasure and for the benefit of everyone.

Emily. But fate– a villain, has made you an astronaut!

Leon. You're almost right. I did not become an astronaut, but I really work in the space industry. I am an engineer at the design bureau.

Emily. Wow! Responsible work!

Leon. Very. If something goes wrong, who will be to blame? Therefore, as you understand, the nerves are shattered. And, excuse me, in what fields do you work? If it's not a secret, of course.

Emily. You've been so open with me, Leon, that now it's just embarrassing for me to keep quiet and conceal anything. I'm an actress.

Leon. Wow? That's right, I've seen you somewhere! Which theaters do you play in? Or are you acting in a movie? I definitely know your face. I was wondering where I could have seen you before…

Emily. No, Leon, I'm not that big of an actress. I've never acted in a movie, but I play in a children's theater, and I also lead children's theater groups. However, if you have children, then yes, you could very well come with the children to my performances. I'm currently playing Alice the Fox in Pinocchio in the musical comedy.

Leon. No, no, I don't have any children. Hmm… it's strange, it turns out I was mistaken.

Emily. But I also went to psychologists.

Leon. Really?

Emily. Truth. And more than once.

Leon. Wait! And what happened to you? Is Basilio the cat spreading its claws?

Emily. Oh, yes, I see you're in the subject! Did you go to our performances after all? Well, open up, surely you have children?

Leon. No, no, I swear to you, Emily, it's just that who doesn't know Alice the Fox and Basilio the Cat? I read it as a child. I'll tell you more. I even know Karabas – Barabas and Tortoise Tortilla, and even Duremar!

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