Conclusion: any event, pleasant or unpleasant, that requires adjustment may cause a range of physiological and psychological responses. Hence, an alternative definition of stress by the late Austrian Dr Hans Selye, the “father” of … Stress-o-logy, states:

“Stress is the non-specific response of the body towards any demand for adjustment imposed, irrespective of whether the demand is placed by pleasant or unpleasant situations.”

Sitting in the dentist’s chair may be as stressful as a passionate kiss with your beloved, argued Selye. Who would avoid the latter because of the stress it generates?

Feel free to kiss me; I promise I can handle it …

By the way, if you do not have problems, raise your hand! Do you know someone who has no stress?

I know a several people, except … they are six-feet under! Only the dead have zero stress (although those who have caught the elevator to the “underworld,” may be in a slightly detrimental position!).

Excessive stress is the problem

Stress is not only unavoidable but also normal and, in a way, a necessary element of human existence. Yes, you have read correctly, stress is normal. The absence of stress is what ought to be considered abnormal and may, in fact, have consequences similar to those of excessive stress.

Stress does not necessarily produce negative consequences, unless a) it occurs quite frequently, b) lasts long, or c) has high intensity. The frequency, duration, and intensity of stress are the factors that make all the difference. People suffer and occasionally die not of excessive stress, but because of their erroneous perception of the stressful event and because of their poor coping responses.

Consequently, a certain degree of stress, what researchers call “optimal” level of arousal, is necessary.

Stress is the spice of life. – Hans Selye

Optimal level of arousal

According to the Law of Inverted U (Yerkes & Dodson, 1908), there is an optimal amount of stress, which energizes us and helps us bring out our best. The optimal level of arousal differs slightly between individuals and is dependent on the nature and the difficulty of each task. For instance, the optimal level of arousal required by a boxer or a 100-meter sprinter (high) is different to that of a volleyball player (average), and a chess player (low).

When the level of arousal exceeds the ideal (excessive stress), some or all of the symptoms of stress, such as reduced concentration, increased blood pressure, appear. If the individual remains in this state for a long time, burnout may occur. Conversely, when the arousal level is too low (little or no stress), a person may experience boredom and lack of energy. It is likely to “stagnate,” if there is no stimulation for a long period.

Therefore, a certain degree of stress is necessary to remain healthy, to be creative, and to feel satisfied. The aim, therefore, is not always to reduce but to effectively manage stress. Indeed, many times it is necessary to increase the degree of stress in our lives … so that we don’t feel as stressed! We will therefore discuss the conscious and effective adjustment (increase or decrease) of stress. In other words, “Hurray for stress!” – as long as we know how to adjust it at will.

You never will be the person you can be if pressure, tension and discipline are taken out of your life. – James Bilkey

There are many ways to manage stress, and awareness of these techniques and strategies helps regulate the three ever important variables: the frequency, the intensity, and the duration of our responses to stimuli. However, this will be the subject of discussion in a later chapter on problem solving and the effective regulation of stress. Let us first examine the sources of stress.

Chapter 2: Sources of stress

Contemporary stress: you have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three! – Anonymous

WHAT IS the primary cause of stress in your everyday life? What do you see yourself doing daily that you do not like? What is the problem? Your finances, other people, your relationships, your kids, your work and your boss, traffic, pollution, your health, the dessert in the fridge that is, without a doubt, going to end up in your tummy?

Exercise: What stresses me out

Recall and record a recent stressful experience:

Alternatively, complete the following sentences:

I get bored when …

I am tired of …

I get irritated by …

I can’t stand …

When I set this exercise, the most common answers by participants include the following:

– my relationships with others (their opinion of me, their lack of understanding and communication, their inconsistencies, their rudeness, the fact that I constantly need to nag them)