“Maybe someone will make the connection,” I thought, “and ask me.”

Now that the Olympics have been and gone, I guess it has become even less likely.

Please do not misunderstand me. I am not arguing that encyclopaedic knowledge is useless. Far from it. Among other things I have learnt, the following not only assist me in putting things into the right perspective, but I still hold on to the belief that they could actually prove useful facts to know someday:

– The United States bought Alaska from Russia for $7.2 million, i.e., for less than two cents per acre, and Manhattan from the Indians for 24 dollars. We learn from history! (Perhaps I should invest in unexplored frozen territories. Who knows, maybe in 50 years I will be really rich.)

– When flocks of bats leave a cave, they always turn left before flying off. (I haven’t verified the validity of this statement, but just to be on the safe side, I suggest you enter the cave from the other side, just in case they fly in your face.)

– You share the same birthday with approximately 19.2 million10 other people around the world. (Bummer … I thought I was special. Happy birthday to us all! Perhaps we should organize a joint party, invite 10 to 20 friends each, and split the expense. We can meet each other and test the theory of astrology, which affirms that our personalities should be pretty similar. We are Leos after all.)

Useful information, isn’t it? I am, however, under the impression that we have overlooked certain rather important areas of knowledge. Perhaps we ought to re-examine the priorities and the aims and objectives of the traditional educational school curricula.

Yet, if we decided to teach people emotion management, has science discovered the necessary knowledge? If so, is it available for all? Can we learn to change the way we feel, even when external circumstances justify (or even “impose,” as many people think) feeling bad? I would argue that such knowledge is available, hitherto untapped by most.

SO, WHAT IS STRESS?

While everyone around us is talking about it and everyone appears to know a lot, it seems that no one really knows what it is. It is very much like the definition of love. Indeed, although most people seek love and wish to reduce stress, very few can define the terms. Watch closely. Here’s another exercise I enjoy doing in my seminars to support the argument I have just made.

Putting on my most serious face, I instruct participants:

“I’ll give you three minutes to think and record on a sheet of paper the answer to the question “What is stress?”. Then, I will select three of you to come up onto the stage and give us their definition. Next, you will judge them by awarding marks, and we will eventually decide on the best definition. By the way, the ratings you receive will count towards your final mark. Let’s go! Your time starts … now!”

Suddenly, participants remember that they have a pen somewhere in their briefcase and start looking for it. Others realize they need to use the bathroom. The rest are looking for handkerchiefs, shuffling papers on their desks, fidgeting around on their chair. Their reactions are typical; as I move closer, some avoid eye contact by looking down. Why? Because the level of stress in the room has increased significantly!

Way before the end of the three minutes, I peer over the seats of two or three individuals and stare into their eyes, as if I were testing their responses to decide whether to pick them to get up onto the stage.

The classic response is to look away and sink deeper into their seats. Occasionally, I get a straight look in the eyes from those confident enough to stand up and present their ideas or those who enjoy showing off.

When the three minutes are up, I try making eye contact with as many people as I can, slowly looking around the room from one side to the other …

Then, I tell participants

“Don’t panic, I am not going to examine anyone. You can relax. I used the exercise to help you experience a little of what we have been talking about, i.e., stress.”

“… Thanks mate, appreciated!” they reply and breathe a sigh of relief, packing up their notes.

I then ask for the definitions they recorded, but in a non-threatening tone.

Wait! Your turn first! Although I am not near you right now, stop arguing that you do not have a pen, or that it is time for a break, because it’s not, at least not yet. What would you tell your seven-year-old if she asked you?

Stress is …

Record your definition of stress above. Now!

Before we move on to your definition of stress, consider that one of the most common replies is that stress is something you feel.

“I am under a lot of pressure” or “I am feeling very stressed” are expressions used by most of us in everyday life.

If stress is indeed something we feel, then which of the five known senses do we employ to feel it? Can we see, touch, smell, taste, or hear it?