I looked at her expectantly, silently demanding that she finish her sentence.

– You'll understand me. Someday you will» Mum said without finishing her thought.

Her words moved me: despite my outward indifference, I was extremely sensitive.

– But, mum, hear me! You can trust me, because I trust in myself! I can stand up to them, I can! I feel it with all my heart and with all my soul! – I exclaimed desperately, squeezing her palm.

– Misha…

– All right! If you are afraid to let me go alone, put someone to me, like you did with my brother Markus in Bohemia! I'll do it! Just let me go to Oxford, Mum! I want to live and learn to be a real vampire!

Mum turned her face away, as if it was hard for her to look at me.

– You can go to Prague, to Mariszka's» she said finally, after a long silence.

I frowned disappointedly: she was talking about her own things again!

– But then I wouldn't develop! Mariszka will replace you and overprotect me, and I want to feel free to act, but I absolutely understand and accept my responsibilities, – I said.

But Mum didn't answer me.

– After all, I am no more stupid than people my age,' I added. – Please think about it. Maybe you could ask someone you know who lives in England to look after me.

– Not now, Misha. It's very hard for me to talk about it. We'll talk in a month, when your father, brothers and Maria arrive,' Mum said firmly.

– But, Mum…

– I'm not saying no to you, but I need time to… I need to think things over, maybe I can arrange things. I just won't be able to live peacefully knowing that you are far away from me, because I missed Mariszka's hunt to be with you. You are my youngest child and by far my favourite. I love all of you, Martin, Mscislav, Maria, Mariszka, but they are grown up and have become independent, and you are still a child. You were born in this incomprehensible time of universal equality, and you are very impressionable. But I realise I can't keep you at home. Let me think about it. You won't be able to go to Oxford this year anyway.

I nodded silently, marvelling at my foresight: I had already taken the entrance exams online, and I had recently received an email notifying me that I had been accepted into the philosophy department, just as I had dreamed.

I was filled with joy that, thanks to my adult conversation with my mum, I had achieved a lot. Of course, Mum didn't agree, but she promised to think about it. And that's a result.

– Okay, I'll wait. Just please don't think that being away from me is the worst thing in life. I mean, have faith in me, Mum. I promise I'll justify your trust, and if I don't succeed, I'll come home voluntarily. Just understand me.

I had no more words. I kissed Mum's hand and left the office.

Not a sound, not even the rustle of paper, came from her office for another hour or so. Apparently, I had struck Mum in the heart.

But I felt euphoric, and I vowed to become myself, to become the Misha that Cedric saw in me, the one who had cried in front of him.

***

At the end of August, the whole family, except for Mariszka, who had officially joined the Morgan clan and was no longer considered a member of our Mroczek clan, gathered in the large living room to discuss my fate. So that I couldn't hear what they were talking about (a laugh!), they sent me out of town, to our big cottage, and for some reason the discussion dragged on for almost a week: it was the first of September, and I would have to get ready for school, and they couldn't give me an answer as to whether I was going or staying at home. I called someone from the family every day to ask if they had finalised their discussion, but for the sixth day in a row I heard the same thing: «maybe tomorrow».

I knew how much I was loved by my extended family and how much everyone was used to my constant presence at home. When I was very young I was simply carried in their arms, for I was an adorable late baby. I was vaguely aware that vampires breed very slowly, and that I was the only vampire under a hundred years old, meaning that there were no vampires my age or younger than me in the whole world, which was depressing: my brothers were over two hundred years old-Martin was three hundred and five, Mscislav was two hundred and fifty; my sisters were slightly younger-Maria was two hundred and thirteen, and Mariszka was two hundred in August. Well, and me – eighteen. In December I'll be nineteen.

My older brothers and sisters did not understand me, but spoilt me and fulfilled all my requests: in winter Mscislav and Martin drove me on sledges, built with me snowmen and ice sculptures, and watched with me cartoons by Walt Disney. Mariszka babysat me like a mummy, and Maria came to visit us rarely. In the eyes of my family, I was just an unsophisticated child, for they were so… Old and wise. What then to speak of parents who were over five hundred years old?

But, once again, after hearing «I guess we'll decide tomorrow», I gave up and came home to put an end to this ridiculous action: they had convened a consilium to decide whether to let me go to Oxford or not! Ridiculous. However, my arrival surprised no one: it turned out that they themselves had assumed that I would be impatient and come to disturb them, and I was pleasantly surprised and angry at the same time – all this time only one question had been decided.

«Who will look after Misha in England?»

As for me going to Oxford, everyone agreed on the first day, after much debate of course. It took a long time to convince me… Not even Dad (!), but Martin, who just couldn't live without me.

– Why do you have to go anywhere, sister? Isn't there a university in Warsaw worthy of you? – He asked me unhappily, greeting me with a hug.

– It's not a matter of principle, it's a call of the heart» I answered him seriously. And no lies.

I hugged all my relatives, stood in the centre of the circle of chairs in which they were sitting, and felt like a clown in the circus.